Quantum Leap: Goodbye, Passwords; Hello, Quantum-Powered Cat Videos!

By 2044, quantum computers, initially hailed as cryptography-crackers, will have unexpectedly revolutionized the internet not through enhanced security (which they’ll have initially broken, then fixed), but by rendering cat videos so ridiculously high-resolution and emotionally manipulative that global productivity will plummet to an unprecedented low – a delightful side effect, really. Scientific breakthroughs will also occur, of course, but who has time for that when there are fuzzy kittens in 8K?